Having somewhat recently reduced my intake of cable-generated news (i.e. reduced down to the basic plan to put a dent in our outrageous Comcast bills), I haven’t been able to see first-hand the daily meanderings of the CNN.
But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been hearing what’s been going on at the Ted Turner CNN, apparently, has become very good at making news while reporting the news. Not “good” news, mind you, but attention-getting news nonetheless. The latest incident involved Don “When Life Hands You Only One” Lemon, CNN’s bold, intrepid news anchor who is not afraid of asking the hard questions. “Hard” as in no one else seems to be able to come up with such obtuse, confounding, impossible-to-answer-rationally questions. Following on the heels of such head-scratchers as the possibility of a black hole appearing out of nowhere, swallowing an airliner and then disappearing again, and oral genital mutilation as a valid defense in the event of sexual assault comes Lemon’s hot take on the tragedy at Charleston, S.C. Lemon made a valiant attempt at bringing the entire tragedy down to a level that anyone (read: he) could understand. Standing proudly before the studio camera, the Edward R. Murrow for our times displayed a giant black placard with one single word printed on it in white. “Nigger.” Minus the period. All caps. (For font nerds it appeared to be Myriad Roman or Myriad Pro Regular.) One can only image the conversation Lemon had while discussing his idea with the twenty-something clerk behind the print center counter at Staples. Lemon: Hi, I need a big sign printed. Clerk: Ok, how big? Lemon: Oh, about…this big? (holds hand approximately 4 feet and then 3 feet apart) Clerk: Sure, we can do that. What’s on the sign? Lemon: Nigger. Clerk: I’m sorry, what? Lemon: Nigger. N-I-G-G… Clerk: I know how to spell it. You want that on a sign? Lemon: Yup. Clerk: Nothing else? Lemon: Nope. Just the big ol’ word “Nigger.” How long is it going to take? Clerk: Um, not long. I mean, it’s just a big black card with the word “Ni…” Um, the N-word. Lemon: Great. I’m due on the set in about 20 minutes. Clerk: The set? Lemon: Yup. I’m a newsman! Lest you think Lemon was going to use the sign for, I dunno, a new, provocative nightclub or racially charged ice cream shop, the actual use was simpler than that. He brought the sign onto the set, held it up and asked America: “Does this offend you?” Yes, he could have been talking about his stupid stunt itself, or his very existence as a prominent national news anchor. But he was talking about the word on the sign. As much as Lemon – who I watched as a local news anchor in my hometown of Chicago before he made a name for himself on CNN - is bearing the brunt of the criticism for this stupid stunt, and deservedly so, I have to think he didn’t orchestrate this alone. The sign was much too big to hide under his suit jacket so he probably didn’t pull a Howard Beale and go rogue. I have to assume some executive – a producer, stage director, etc. – had to know he had this giant sign reading “Nigger” and planned to use it as a prop for his provocative, in-depth and penetrating question for America. Showing that there are more depths of stupidity to plumb, CNN followed that up a few days later by asking a panel the question: “Should Pres. Obama Apologize for Slavery?” Presumably because Obama has one white parent. Which, following CNN’s logic, means he should only half apologize but who wants a half-assed apology? Given Lemon’s frequent demonstrations of physical agility by putting his foot well into his mouth, I often wonder how he’s able to keep his job. From suggesting that a rape victim didn’t do enough to prevent the attack because she didn’t chomp down on her assailant’s penis, to asking a human rights advocate is he was, in fact, actually a supporter of ISIS, Lemon is the gift that keeps on giving. If that gift is a hose connected to a sewage treatment plant. But then I remember that – as James Earl Jones intones – “This is CNN!” A 24-hour “news” channel that routinely runs out of actual news about four hours into the day. Which leaves 20 hours to fill. Which gives us snazzy graphics of the cockpit of missing airplanes that bring nothing to the conversation. Which gives us five people shouting at the same time, with no points being made like a more-topical Jerry Springer. Which gives us Lemon. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with CNN, how I’m supposed to watch it. Do I watch it like a news channel that occasionally features fantasy segments? Is it a freewheeling performance piece that can veer from science fiction to comedy to shout-fest in a matter of seconds? As close as I can figure, CNN is like a hostage-taker with no demands. They’re holding people captive but we don’t have a clue of their mindset, ideology or demands. They're impossible to negotiate.
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It’s strange enough, for me at least, having someone else read something I wrote. I belong to a writing group and, naturally, the whole point is to have other members read your work and make helpful comments/criticisms. I appreciate all of it, of course, but since I’ve always been a little weird about other people reading/hearing my work, it makes me a little uncomfortable. Stupid, I know.
So imagine how I felt when a short play I wrote was not only read but also performed at a recent play festival in Houston. Which meant that not just producers, directors and actors read it, but real, live audience members SAW it. Got dressed up, walked/drove/cabbed their way over to the swanky new theater in which the festival took place, plunked down $20 and sat in their seats waiting to be entertained. Of course, mine wasn’t the only production in the 10-play festival. And it certainly wasn’t the best (I mean, I liked what I wrote but several others were pretty amazing). But as I took my seat I felt my nerves tingling. I was about to be judged. Again. Yet, an amazing thing happened. Everything was great. The actors bleeping nailed it. They took what was in my head, and without specific instructions from me, made it real. The staging was perfect: sound effects, lighting and setting captured the scene and transported it to the world I created. It was pretty astonishing to see. After both performances I attended I could not refrain from telling the director and actors how grateful I was for what they accomplished. And the audience. They laughed at the lines that were meant to be funny. Applauded loudly at the end. I believe it also got a “whooo!” or two. Writing is almost always a lone process. You come up with ideas alone. You write alone. You self-edit alone. You decide if you’re done alone. But eventually, if it’s your goal, it sees the light of day and is judged by the public. Sometimes it doesn’t accomplish what you intended. But sometimes… |
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August 2015
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